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Asking for Womans Perspective m4w Hello. Thanks for taking the time to read this post. Im a bit baffled and not sure if I should make a big deal of this but rather than bringing this up and making a fool out of myself, I figured I better reach out and get a womans opinion on this.
A bit about me for background, Im 45, married, 5 between 2 and , house, dog, college educated, good paying position in marketing, not making about $80k, comfortable, no big bills, cars paid off, I try to workout when I can, and have run in half marathons, warrior dashes, and Ragnar Relays recently. I do help around the house a lot with cleaning, cooking, watching the , getting them to school/sporting events, household chores, laundry, garbage, homework, bath time, reading to the before bed, going to church most Sundays, the usual stuff.
Ive cut out all of my youthful extra curricular activities to be more family involved such as basketball and softball leagues, I golf one time a year for a company outing. I dont own a boat or a fishing boat, dont own a snowmobile, I dont own an ATV, I dont hunt, I do some fishing with at the lake or river. Im not on any dart leagues, bowling leagues, poker leagues, or fantasy football leagues. I no longer "go out with the boys", although I do have old pals I do occasionally do stuff with such as a concert or sporting event which is rare. I basiy own an old snow blower that I havent even used but once in 2 years and a mountain bike from which we go out with the on occasion.
Ive noticed my wife is doing an unusual amount of time from home in recent years and every time I think its going to end it keeps getting worse. What do I mean by this? She has been volunteering at school/church and been involved in different "clubs", and gets to be out with her friends.
Some background on her, shes a month. I made this decision because I felt I could swing this because of my position and wanted to help. So basiy my wife is not a "full time" housewife, but has the ability to work outside the home a couple of days a week. This is where I get confused.
She wanted to "stay at home" to be around more to help the family and get on top of things. Ive already mentioned that I do a big chunk of what you read above. Im not all about the Me Tarzan You mentality. I do want to help but Im finding Im needing to do more and more to keep up in the house and and my wife still feels I dont do enough. At least that is the impression I have. Sex life is 0. She shows absolutely no interest in me whatsoever.
What baffles me is that she spends a lot of time with her bible study group that meets weekly at each others homes so that is usually 3 to 4 hours. Then she needs to spend about 2 hours reading for their study a week. Then they usually have a once a month get together at a restaurant to eat in the evening. Then theres KAMS ( and moms group ) which she goes 2x a month on Thursday mornings which runs from 9am to am cutting into her work time. Then theres book club that meets 2x a month in the evening usually at someones home or restaurant. So the wife reads about 1 to 2 books a month. And now Ive seen on our account she is also reading a ton of "romance novels" to the tune of 26 since October. Shes doing this at night and falling asleep on the couch most nights recently. Shes involved in the PTO and PTA because our go to public and private schools, she volunteers being the "class mom" for 2 grades at school, so that means planning, prepping, etc for class events/parties, she volunteers for just about everything under the sun at school and church ( and I get roped into some ), she started a Spanish course for after school once a week. Her Spanish teacher bailed on her so now she forced to do it. She has asked me to come in to teach the class but I refused because that would mean missing 3+ hours from my work schedule. And she enjoys going out with walks with her friends after work meaning she isnt home until :30 or pm on Wed/Thu. She does go to the Y about 3x a week but her workouts are now going 2 hours +. I dont have an issue with that. She also does coffee dates, lunch dates, and even after work dinner dates with her friends. All told she probably averages around hours a week in "extra curricular" activities not counting her reading which is around hours+ a week. You add that up and that is 3 work days spent on all this stuff. Keep in mind this is all stuff without me or my being in the picture. And no wonder stuff around the house is not done. I dont know of any other wife that does this. Not with 5 at home and one that works a couple days a week. I hear stories that there are full time housewives that are lucky to get out for coffee and groceries by themselves 1x per week. Its not like shes doing bad stuff like going out partying or anything like that. What shes doing as far as an activity is normally a "good" thing. Im not saying cut all this stuff out. Im all for my wife to do some things outside the home and get out and socialize but isnt this just a bit crazy and too much? How do I approach all this?
I probably know that you suspect cheating. Believe me, its crossed my mind. My suspicions were peaked as more of this stuff was happening. As it turns out, shes going where shes supposed to be and with the people she says shes with. Ive made sure that of that. Fortunately shes not tech savvy.
Okay, ladies, so Ive laid it out there for you. Im asking you for a female opinion. Where do I go from here? I dont think shes going to let off the gas anytime soon. Im starting to get frustrated in more ways than one. Thanks.

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