"An aquaintance of the past" w4m I made a huge step last week J. I finally felt ready to delete all the old emails that i had filed away for safe keeping and i did, they are gone now. That last boyfriend i had for that short time, he helped me get over you much, much quicker than i would have if i hadn't met him. I really liked him, but he turned out to be a disrespectful, lying piece of shit. lol. kind of funny because i believe that he is THE worst guy i've ever dated, and i've dated some losers. But the main thing i take from this all is that i learned. I learned that most people in this world cannot be trusted. that most people just want to get ahead and don't care if they do other people wrong in the process. so, i know now to be cautious, i will never just jump in so quickly and give away my heart so easily like i did with you. i will still let people in. I refuse to believe that there aren't any good men out there. I still believe there are some men out there who will treat a classy, beautiful woman like myself with respect and see my value. But i learned a lot and so i do not regret any of the pain you caused me, we did have a few special moments, but you can keep all the tears and you can keep all the memories. I know that i am the best thing you will ever have had. you may find a good woman in the future, but she isn't going to be anything like me and you know it. You really fucked up. and i know you don't care now. but there is going to come a time, maybe not till two years from now, maybe ten years from now, or maybe on your death bed... but you ARE gonna wish that i was still around. i would have loved you forever and worshiped the ground you walked on, we could have had a wonderful life together. And i know it isn't your fault, you have all those issues going on in your head that you just weren't ready to deal with, it's so easy to lock them away and ignore them, isn't it. It's okay J, i forgive you for everything and i do still love you, but the time i spend in mourning lessens each week in quantity, in duration and in intensity. And in no time at all you will become a faded picture in my mind. I look forward to that.

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